Cruciatus Love

I'm on a writing streak

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 13:30:34 GMT

Wow. It's only 9:30 in the morning and I've already written a one-shot and a drabble today. Go me!

I've written my entry for the extra credit one-shot for the August Challenge, but I have yet to find a bunny for one of the real ones. I certainly hope that I find one soon, though, because I wouldn't want this one-shot to go to waste.

And, anyway, my Narcissa drabble:

Letting Go to Survive Reality

I was always the beautiful one. I was the one who got everything she wanted, everything she asked for, and everything a girl could need. I was the pure-blood goddess who married the handsome husband, and had the perfect son. I was the daughter best looked upon by my mother-- and by the world.

It was said I had everything. I had the entire world in the palm of my hand, and yet I could never learn to appreciate it. Yes, I had the handsome husband that everyone wanted, but I didn’t see that when I looked into his eyes. I only saw pain and suffering, and sometimes an evil glare that gave me nightmares in my sleep. He wasn’t what I wanted in a man, but I knew that he cared about me-- and that was all I could ask for.

I knew the moment he was born that my dear little son was going to follow in the footsteps of his father. He wasn’t going to listen to my warnings or my cries, but he was going to stand tall and follow the darkness. I knew instantly that when he grew up he would have the same death glare in his eyes and that there was nothing I could do about it. I had married a monster, and I had given birth to one. But I was the only person who could see that.

But I never gave up hope on either of them. I cared for them, I worked for them, and I did my best to love them. I can tell you that to this day I have not regretted doing these things; for the love of a mother to her family is more powerful then any Dark Lord can scare away. I would try to stand strong and endure whatever pain came my way.

But when I lost them, both of them, I knew my life was over. I didn’t appreciate what I had until it was lost, and then I was left with nothing. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t live. I just sat and waited for my death day to come.

Now I know I’m stronger then that. I have suffered the consequences of keeping pride in the family name, and I will not do that any longer. I will leave my heritage behind and start a new life for myself. I will become a blood traitor if I have to, just to find the happiness I never had. I, unlike my husband and son, am going to survive through this life. I am going to live unlike anyone before me. I am going to be real.

And, in other news, I've felt completely depressed since finding out about Steph's situation and the one-shot I write this morning certainly reflects that. It's all dark and gloomy and sad.

*sigh*

Haha.

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 23:32:03 GMT

I'm still working on getting all my Denmark pictures and entries and stuff up, but for now I found this quiz thanks to Allison and even thought it's pretty badly written, is funny nonetheless...:

Your reputation at Hogwarts

You belong in Slytherin!!!!

Harry:Hates you but at the same time feels alittle sorry for you because to him your life isnt all that great

Ron: You hang out with Draco. He hates your very being and hopes spiders eat you.

Hermione: Even though she REALLY doesnt like you she has to hand it to you: youve got brains

Neville: Is scared of you

Fred & George: Wonder what prank to pull on you today

Ginny: Wonders what happened to you. You used to be a pretty cool kid.

Semus & Dean: Know you b/c your Dracos girl friend

Lavender: Is sort your friend. You act diifernt around different ppl

Draco: Loves you and has all ready proposed to you

Pansy: wishes she were you. Shes given up on Draco and is you BFF

Cedric: Saw you around

Luna: Is to wierd to notice you

Cho:thinks your snobby

Dumbledore: Said
even though you were a bad kid he still thought you were nice at heart

McGonagall: Wishes to stop finding you a Draco snogging

Snape: Treats you like his daughter and is secretly jealous of Draco. Sadly he is one of your best friends.

Hagrid: Doesnt like you to much

Sirus: Didnt think highly of you

Crabbe: Is also one of your BFFs

Filich: You were his snitch he loved you

Moaning murtle: doesnt like you for taking away Draco

Your b/f: Draco
Your BFF's:Pansy, Snape, Crabbe
Your enimes: Ron, Harry, possibly Hermione
Your House: Slytherin
Your rep: sarcastic, and dracos g/f

Link: Click

You know, I think I can deal with those results. Except the Filtch one...that's just weird.

Really Fast Drabble

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 20:05:04 GMT

I had a little bit of time before I left on the plane, so I thought I would write another drabble for the Writing Reley in the time that I had.

It's not so great because it took me five minutes to write. But ahh well.

A Stalker to Care For

I’ve run this shop ever since I can remember, and never before have I had this problem from a student. Way back when I opened it, I was indeed a beautiful young girl and was given many ‘looks’ from the middle-aged men that walked in here. As I grew older, however, I lost many of this beauty, and with them lost the winks.

But one young, red-haired boy seems to have changed that. I noticed him watching me as I worked when the Hogwarts students came. The first few times I only thought of him as a cute little boy who hadn’t quite grown into himself yet. It was a motherly-type thing when I winked back, or gave him a slight smile.

But as the years went by he started to become a teen. And I never liked teens. They always ridiculed and joked like I was just a piece of meat. The moment I thought that same boy had started noticing me in that way, I tried to escape from it.

I began hiding behind the counter when the students arrived, or avoiding eye contact when I was serving another. But after a while, I decided that I sort of liked having him there. It made me feel as young as when I opened up the shop, and I hadn’t gotten looks like that in a long time. Most of the men who came in here already had girls anyway.

The years continued to pass, and I kept pretending as if I didn’t like it. I knew, after all these years of being that ‘pretty girl’, that men liked those women that are hard to catch. And although I knew it was just a game with this boy, I allowed myself to continue playing.

But when the boy became sixteen years old, I knew it was time to forfeit the match. He soon would be finding someone his own age, and I could no longer handle having a stalker following me. I was becoming a grown woman, and needed to find a real man for myself. This boy needed to do the same.

I never learned the name of that boy. I never knew him by any other means then his own freckled face and red hair. But I don’t think that would have changed anything, as we both needed to move on. But I don’t think I’ll ever forget the days of hiding from him, or smiling in the shadows. It kept me young when I was quickly growing old.

I’ll never forget my stalker.

END

I just hope it doesn't stink too badly.

DENKARK!

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 12:06:15 GMT

So, just incase any of you don't know and are wondering where I am for the next (almost) two weeks, I'm going to Denmark and will probably not be available online.

Oh, and one more thing. If you see the name 'Cruciatus Love' show up as an active user at the bottom of the page during the time that I'm gone, it's okay...but it isn't me. I've given Mari full permission to go my account while I'm gone and deal with...certain PMs... But she won't post as me, write a drabble as me, or do anything she shouldn't. So yeah, don't worry.

And I'll see you all again in eleven days! August 3rd.

More Drabbles

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 22:10:07 GMT

I know that I haven't updated this thing with much of my work lately, but that's because I've been writing mostly for the Gauntlet, and one-shots on MNFF. So...

But I actually did write one for the weekly drabble challenge before I left:

One Last Speech

“Avada Kedavra!”

The whole world seemed to stop after he had said those words. Never before had he killed a soul. But there she was, lying in front of him. Her hair lay mangled behind her, and her eyes stuck open like she was watching something. But Bellatrix was most definitely dead.

Remus fell to the ground on his knees, and looked at the now lifeless woman in front of him. He knew he owed her nothing, but nonetheless felt awful for removing her life from the earth. It would be only right.

“Bellatrix lived a long life of sadness and woe. Never was she able to see what happiness could bring her, and never did she quite understand was life was all about. But she lived it nonetheless standing up for what she thought was right. She did everything in her power to show the world her beliefs, and hoped that they would accept them.”

Sitting alone in the soft grass, Remus continued his speech dedicated to the poor woman while trying to see the best in her. Because that’s what he always did-- saw the greatness in people.

“I’m sure, had she lived in a happier home, she could have grown up an amazing woman. She was very powerful as it was, and although she used these powers for evil, I believe she didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t know what she could have been, because she never bothered to look. But she could have been helpful. She could have been great.

“But I know that she is proud of how she lived. She tried to show the world how things were in her mind, and just had a hard time showing it. I know that she will be happy where she is now. And maybe she’ll become a new person. Maybe she’ll find joy.

“I know she will.”

With this, Remus lifted his muddy knees from off the ground, and stood up on his feet again. He always had found the best in people, and this was just yet another piece of evidence proving such. He had a soft spot in his heart for all humans-- how they thought, felt, acted, spoke.

The man bowed his head one last time, and walked away from the infamous woman forever.

END

And this one I wrote today as well, but I was in a really big rush so it isn't very good. O.o

The Last Refuge

The shop’s warm glow had recently faded into a cold darkness. Each of the candies that had been sold throughout the years to the giddy children were now messily thrown on the floor. The entire room was now covered with dust, mold, and rotten wood from the counters that had once been there.

But this was not just any run-down shop. This shop had once been a happy abyss for a student to escape to when things had been sorrowful for them. This shop had once represented all the joy in the world, simply by putting smiles on the faces of the next generation.

It had been a sad day when Voldemort’s gang had invaded the store. Many of the younger wizards had been killed, and even some of the elders lost their lives. But that was not the worst part of the day. For the part of it that killed the happiness in people’s hearts, was the removal of this refuge from the world. No longer would people have a place to go to cheer themselves up; no longer would they have a ‘sweet spot’ to hang.

There had been a deep connection between this shop and its customers. For it had sold not only the candies, but the joy that went with it. It had once sold the enjoyment that couldn’t be found anywhere else as long as the Death Eaters reigned. It was the last haven for children, and therefore was a prime target for the Dark Lord.

But now that the last glimmer of brightness had faded, it seems the light at the end of the tunnel had left, too. Now there was nothing but a dark path to walk, and you no longer had a lantern to hold. The entire future would be a mystery, if only you could live that long.

END

And I probably have a bunch more, but I don't feel like looking for them. And actually, I should put my epitaph one up on the Slyth common room. I think I'll do that.

I need to stop being so stressed.

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 01:00:45 GMT

I really need to stop being so stressed. I don't like being stressed. It makes me rude, cranky, and it makes me just plane mean to those around me. So, if I'm acting really pissy to any of you, let me appologize now. I just have a lot on my mind.

Not that that is an excuse to be rude...but I'm just so stressed. I can't stand it.

No, really. I was so mean to my Slyths in the common room. Look at what I posted (but lated edited out) there:

Okay, so if this was an LJ, I'd put this post under a cut because I'm really mad and I don't want you people to feel like you have to read this. I'm just :mad: off.

Oh my God, people, stop worrying about points and go out and DO something about it. Do you know what I've done in the past few days? I've gotten up int he middle of the night to write a Gauntlet drabble, so that I could sent it back to Sneaky and have a new on ein the morning. I wrote another Gauntlet drabble early in the morning, and another in ten minutes right before I left to go to lunch. I've written FOUR of those stupid drabbles in TWO days! If I can do it, you can do it.

I've also beta'ed about five different one-shots, or chapters (not including drabbles) in the past three or so days, and have another two I have to get done before I leave on Sunday. I've also written two one-shots for points in order to help with that, AND I've posted as many times as I could in the EoM section. I've also been participating as much as I can in both my Summer school classes, and, on top of it all, I've been organizing this thing I'm not supposed to be talking about that's taken a bunch of my time.

All of this while packing to go to Europe for two weeks. So don't you guys start complaing that we don't have enough points! Because ever single one of us are working as hard as we can to do everything we can to earn those darn things. And you know what? They aren't even real! The point of being here is to write, and that's what we're doing. We're writing-- and doing a lot of it too. Especially those of us who dedicate lots of our own time to beta-ing, read-ing over stories, and helping others as well as earning points for ourselves. I know I'm not the only one out there doing it, so I think we're doing just fine!

And if you have a problem with how many points we're getting, then go out there and do something about it! Don't just tell us! GRR!

I really didn't mean to be that offensive, I was just mad at the time. And now I feel bad about being so rude. Grr. I hate this. I need to stop being stressed.

I think this trip to Denmark is going to be good for me.

Stupid MNFF

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:25:53 GMT

Grr, is anyone else having problems with Mugglenet loading?

The forums were taking forever, so I tried going to the archive and I got "Avada Kedavra"ed because there were too many users online. But, that doesn't usually happen on the forums. So, why are they down?

And on top of that, I just got an email saying I had gotten a PM from Sneaky giving me the next Gauntlet challenge, and I really wanted to get it done tonight!

Please tell me this isn't just me.

[EDIT] Two hours later...

I could pretty much KILL MNFF right now. I've gotten three email notifications for PMs I can't read. And I REALLY wanted to write last part of the Gauntlet tonight before I left. But I CAN'T EVEN GET THE STOOOPID PM!

*curses MNFF*

New Layout

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 22:26:58 GMT

So just incase you didn't notice, I finally got a new layout. I've been working on getting one I liked for a while now, and when telpelinda decided she didn't want hers anymore I quickly picked it up.

It's much prettier then my old one. Yay!

Oh, and I have two one-shots to post soon, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Plus, I'm still working on getting them beta'ed.

Amused

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 15:06:09 GMT

So, I'm pretty amused right now.

Jenna wrote on her LJ:
Me: So, who's your boyfriend, Master Chief?

Except it should be:
Me: So, who's your boyfriend? Master Chief?

By putting in the comma one would think that she was talking to "Master Cheif" while she was really putting Master Cheif up as an option. O.o

So I guess that sounds rude, but I've always thought mods were perfect. ;)

On a sepparate, but random note, I had some extra time today so I counted all the notification emails of PMs for MNFF. I have gotten a whopping 342 of them since May second. For someone who doesn't get in trouble, isn't in charge of anything, and isn't a mod, that's pretty sad. I need to stop being so friendly...

New Drabble

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 00:23:56 GMT

New drabble; aren't I special?

Two Victims

Tears of remorse could be heard bellowing down the dead hallway. The entire area surrounding the abandoned room was empty and echoed every noise placed within it. Even the corridor leading to the room was filled with sounds of sorrow. Just being there made one feel melancholy and low.

Inside the darkened bathroom, only two souls rested. One- a young girl ripped of life at a young age- and the other- an adolescent giant simply trying to make his way through his schoolboy years being unharmed mentally and physically. One place brought them together, and that same place would tear each of them apart.

One creature- or two- holds the happiness of these delinquents in its grasp. The creature of Salthazar Slytherin is a mystery for all yet adds horror to the life of those who know least about it. But these two children know what sort of power it holds. One was a victim of the animal, and the other was blamed for causing it. Both were innocent yet both continued to suffer.

Big, fat tears rolled down the cheeks of the large teen. His head was covered in a long, black mop and his face with a red aura. He sat on a deserted toilet with his head in his hands and his heart in his stomach. Everything seemed to be working against him; even his only friend was being torn away.

The girl was no longer part of this world. She, instead, sat on a different dimension of life simply on looking existence. For she was not truly present anywhere she was or anywhere she ever wanted to be. She had no control over anything and instead simply remained in one spot to wallow in her sorrows.

The two of them were a perfect match as they sat on opposite sides of the bathroom. Neither of them knew of the other’s presence, but both could feel the deepened emotion flowing about in the room. For together they had been through the worst, yet neither of them had any idea of the pain that lay ahead.

The pain caused by that one horrible beast.

END

So I know that no one actually reads these, but it's a good place to store them if my computer ever crashes.

Hmm

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 23:06:15 GMT

I found this on someone elses LJ (Karin, I think). Normally I would post this type of thing on my private LJ, but I thought there are a few of you who would probably like to know me better, so I thought I;d put it here.

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now. (A Bunch of people, actually. Seeing as it's summer I haven't seen many friends in a while.)	✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (Just when I'm too tired to do anything else.)	× I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (Contacts; I would die without them.)	× I love to play video games.	× I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (If possible that is.)
× I curse sometimes. (Not really. I usually try to avoid it at all costs.)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (Deffinately. You really have no idea.)	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones. (Does a chin count? Even if it was on accident?)	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
× I'm paranoid at times. (Only sometimes. Not enough to check this box.)	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now. (Pfft. I always want money.)
✓ I love sushi. (Oh my gosh, yes.)	× I talk really, really fast. (Not really, onlly when I'm extremely hyper.)	× I have fresh breath in the morning. (Not at all. sigh)
✓ I have long hair. (So long, I don't even know what to do with it sometimes. Longer then anyone else I know personally. at least.)	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	× I have at least one sibling. (Nope, poor me.)
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	✓ I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. (Yep, just about every time I have a dance recital I have to wear fake eyelashes. Let me tell you, they are extremely uncomfortable; I don'r reccomend it.)	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. (Don't have it, unless you could my cell.)
✓ I like the way that I look. (Most of the time. I only don't when I'm have a really ba achne day (and that happens maybe once a month, so it's not too bad).)	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months. (Not a big lie; never to a true friend at least.)	✓ I am usually pessimistic. (I'm sorry to say so.)
✓ I have a lot of mood swings. (Yes, you could deffinately say that.)	× I think prostitution should be legalized. (WTH? Are you kidding me?)	× I slept with a roommate. (Haha...yeah (notice the box is NOT checked).)
✓ I have a hidden talent. (Many, actually. No one really knows me as well as they think they do.)	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends. (More then I can ever handle, actually. I'm always just so busy!)
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex. (Gahh...the tragedies of Truth or Dare.)	✓ I enjoy talking on the phone. (For sure.)	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (Naw, I like looking nice.)
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop. (But only when I actually have money.)	✓ I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal. (Unfortunately. I can't go a day without checking my f-list.)	✓ I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. (If you knew my mother...)
✓ I have a mobile phone. (Took long enough.)	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before. (No comment.)
× I currently like/love someone. (I don't get crushes. I simply respect people for what they are and try to see the ebst in everyone. (On top of that I'm WAY too young to be in lvoe anyway.))	✓ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (I have ideas, but nothing is cast in stone.)	✓ I want to have children in the future. (As many as possible. I've always hated being an only child and I can't wait to have a few of my own. (Well, okay, so maybe I CAN wait, just not too long.))
× I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything. (Unfortunately, I am allergic to lots of foods.)
✓ I have a lot to learn. (I learn all the time. I love learning.)	× I am shy around the opposite sex. (Are you kidding? I practically have to lead the rest of my friends over to talk to them. Pfft.)	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. (More like 10/7.)
× I have at least 5 away messages saved. (Naw, I make them up when I need them.)	× I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (Wont even touch the stuff.)	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. (Wow. I don't think I've ever even "made a move".)
× I own the "South Park" movie. (The what?)	✓ I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal. (Only once or twice, though. I enjoy doing homework. O.o)	× I enjoy some country music. (Very little, but not enough to check the box.)
✓ I would die for my best friends. (Yep, every single one of them. I love them; what can I say?)	✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist. (You can say that again.)	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career. (What career?)
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (I always feel bad about taking the candy from people. I'm just wierd.)	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	× I am happy at this moment. (Eh, I'm just tired.)
× I'm obsessed with guys. (What are guys? Hah.)	× Democrat. (YES!!!...no)	× Republican. (YESS!!...no)
✓ I don't even know what I am. (...And don't really care at the moment either.)	× I am punk rockish. (Not really.)	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger. (Depends.)
✓ I study for tests most of the time. (Actually, ALL of the time.)	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. (What is that supposed to mean? I tie them the same way everyone does.)	× I can work on a car. (Jeeze, I can't even drive a car.)
× I love my job(s). (What job?)	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now. (I'm pretty proud of where I am, yes.)	× I have more than just my ears pierced. (No, but I'm working on my belly-button.)
× I walk barefoot wherever I can. (Sometimes.)	✓ I have jumped off a bridge. (Yep, and it was WICKED fun.)	✓ I love sea turtles. (Maybe? I've never met one.)
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. (Can't stand the stuff.)	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream. (I plan on achieving all of them.)	✓ I am proficient on a musical instrument. (Does my voice count?)
× I hate office jobs. (Never tried it before.)	× I went to college out of state. (I haven't even thought of college yet.)	× I am adopted. (I wish... (just kidding))
× I am a pyro. (A what?)	× I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. (Mentally? A few times, but not by anyone that I continue to love.)
× I fall for the worst people. (I don't "fall" for anyone, but I do tend to see the best in people.)	✓ I adore bright colours. (I "adore" all colors.)	✓ I usually like covers better than originals. (I love the oldies...what can I say?)
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes. (Pretty cool, eh.)	✓ I can't whistle. (OMG! I always have this probem.)
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse. (A couple years of riding actually.)	✓ I still have every journal I've ever written in. (It's pretty sad, actually.)	× I talk in my sleep. (No, but I used to sleep walk when I was little.)
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. (I love living now, but I'd love to live in medeival times.)	× I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring. (I used to, but I kept losing it.)
× I have a tattoo. (Ouch, too painful.)	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. (What work?)	× I am a caffeine junkie. (Pfft, that stuff kills.)
✓ I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all. (HAHA! Totally man, I'm such a hippie!)	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. (Could be fun...but I'd probably chicken out and feel bad for the person.)	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. (Bring on the alcohol! (notice again that the box is not checked. Haha))	✓ I'm an artist. (We all are. It just depends on how you look at life.)	✓ I am ambidextrous. (Yep, and I'm proud to show it off, too.)
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. (I don't have a bed at the moment. I'm still sleeping on the guestroom sofa until my room gets put back together.)	✓ If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. (Haha, I love this one. But, I guess if I didn't actually have to SEE them naked, then why not?)	× I have terrible teeth. (Nope, braces buddy.)
× I hate my toes. (I love my little piggly-wigglies!)	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. (I'm never tagged, but that doesn;t stop me.)	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life. (I have too many of both.)
× I have lived in either three different states or countries. (Nope, I've lived at home my whole lfie.)	✓ I am extremely flexible. (Ballet dancer all the way. I'm more flexable then most people I know!!)	✓ I love hugs more than kisses. (I love giving hugs but the whole consept of exchanging saliva doesn't really appeal to me.)
× I want to own my own business. (If I feel like it.)	× I smoke. (Oh yes, hand be the cigarette! ;))	✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else. (Yeah, I really need to cut down.)
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal. (No one is normal. Because we're all different...)	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. (Ha, more then "every now and then", you should have seen me at graduation.)	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons. (Um, no. Should I be?)
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits. (Sure, it's a cute look.)	✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me. (I hate seeing dissapointment on people's faces.)	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. (No, but have you met Allison?)
× I have played strip poker with someone else before. (Haha, I wish.)	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. (I don't have problems, I only help other people solve theirs.)	× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal. (I almost checked this just because I felt like it. Wow.)
✓ I can't stand being alone. (I love my people too much.)	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time. (I'm just too afraid to admit it.)	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again. (Wow, who does that?)
✓ I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment. (Again, I don't think I want to admit to this.)	× I'm a judgmental asshole. (What did you just call me?)	✓ I'm a HUGE drama-queen. (Wow, yes. I can't help it, though.)
✓ I have travelled on more than one continent. (Yep, and I LOVE Europe.)	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. (No way! I love my daddy!)	✓ I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am. (Haha, I actually called a friend once when I passed this test so that she could tell me how great I was.)
× I am a Libertarian. (A what?)	✓ I can speak more than one language. (Si, muy poco.)	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. (When I'm so tired that I'm almost dead.)
× I would rather read than watch TV. (I hate reading. I only liked writing.)	× I like reading fact more than fiction. (Naw, fiction all the way.)	× I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. (Naw, I think too far ahead for that.)
× I have no piercings. (Didn't I already answer this question?)	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. (Thank God, no.)	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried. (W-O-M-A-N and P-R-O-U-D.)
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night. (My parents are still together and they would never let that happen.)	× There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it. (I love life; why would I care why I was given this gift if I was already given it?)	× I like most animals better than most people. (I love people, probably more then I should.)
× I own a collection of retro games consoles. (PS2 is it.)	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. (I love physical exercise. I would get too fat without it.)	× I have hit someone with a dead fish. (Haha, no, but good idea. I should try that sometime.)
✓ I am compulsively honest. (...to the point of being rude, actually.)	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. (I was born with jondice, but that's it.)	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. (The dance part-yes, but the topless part-not yet. ;))
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. (I love being a woman.)	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders. (I almost checked this as a joke, but I thought it would be mean as I have many gay friends.)	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. (The eating one happens to me all the time. It's just wierd.)
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on. (Sometimes.)	✓ I dislike milk. (Seeing as I'm allergic to it, yes.)	× I obsessively wash my hands. (Not "obsessively", but more than necissary.)
× I always carry something significant around with me. (Does a cell phone count?)	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. (I love my beautiful mane!)	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others. (But I've also pushed myself to be more self-aware because I tend to put others above myself and feel bad when I have nothing for myself.)
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother. (I still live with my mommy.)	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document. (I wish I could say I did.)	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird. (I think everyone does.)
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time. (No, but my aunt has. I've always wanted to ask her what it felt like to be dead.)	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed. (Sometimes, but most of the time I work to understand what they are going through.)	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won. (No, but it sounds like fun.)
✓ I do not 'get' most comedy acts. (I always feel stupid watching them.)	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (I haven't decided yet, but I think it depends on the conditions.)	× I don't like to chew gum. (I chew it all the time, probably too much actually.)
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it. (Ack! I HATE history with a passion.)	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car. (I can't drive. Poor me.)	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years. (I'm still becomming a teen.)
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other. (But the world is certainly improving...)	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly. (Haha. Wow, that cracked me up.)	✓ I love to sing. (Ask anyone.)
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up. (Um...how about no?)	× I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. (Let's not go there.)
✓ I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human. (I love my baby boy!)	× I've gone skinny-dipping. (No, but it has always sounded like fun.)	✓ I've performed in three plays. (Only three? Man, I've done so many...)
× I enjoy burritos. (Wow.)	✓ I'm Irish and loving it. (And proud!)	✓ I have a thing for redheads. (And brunettes, and blondes. I don't really care.)
× I am a twin! (I wish.)	× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'. (It depends on what the two options are.)	✓ Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else. (This happens way too much with me.)
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. (Doesn't everyone.)	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day. (No, I like to live too much.)	× I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself. (I'm pretty busy, but I have plenty of time to just be me.)	× I wish I was more open-minded. (I'm pretty much as open as it gets.)	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey. (Who would want that?)
✓ I download songs from the internet. (But I always pay. i'm a freak for laws.)	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend. (Of what?)	× I say random things to freak people out. (The random part- yes, the freaking people out part...not so much.)
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note. (What is this?)	✓ I love playing Truth or Dare. (Completely, entirely, and without a doubt.)	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it. (Naw, I like listening and singing.)
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone. (And many more things as well.)	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems. (Dance can do that to a person.)	✓ I think this survey is particularly long. (Very much so.)
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones. (In fear of what could happen, I am not going to check this box.)	× I can only hate someone that I love. (Both are extremely passionate feelings, but I could never love some of the people of whom I hate.)	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks. (I don't drink coffee. And you should be glad I don't.)

Even so, don't expect this again in the future.

PI Directory

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 13:23:58 GMT

Woohoo! I got into the PI directory, finally. After the first week of getting the test, then a week of reviewing it, and then waiting a week and a half to get it back...I finally passed.

I'm sort of dissapointed in myself, though. I passed the accredidation test with a 96% and I was deturmined to beat that score. I know it's probably almost impossible to get a 97% or above, but I still had my heart set on doing it.

But I got a 95%. Pfft. Two points off...

I know I should be happy, but I'm just dissapointed. I know that's stupid but still.

Drabble time!

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 23:28:10 GMT

Wow, this challenge was...interesting.

I was told to write a Dobby/Kreature drabble and although there isn't much romace, I find it mildly believable. It was the best I could do...

Saving the Abandoned

The fire suddenly flickered as a small elf-like head appeared from within it. Its long, withered face glowed like the sun inside the hot abyss. Only its eyes seemed young and new as they peered in yours with fiery emotion.

“Dobby need to get out of here now.”

A second small creature of the same sort stepped into the light featured in the center of the room to face the other. He had a sock on his head and a hat on either foot, but nevertheless looked beautiful in the eyes of the other. It was amazing-- the way he stood up for what he believed in and was completely loyal to his friends.

“It is not safe at Hogwarts.”

The smaller, younger, but yet less-self aware of the two took his last few steps closer to the fire and stared into the eyes of his elder. The soul behind those eyes was that in which only he had ever known. The older elf had lived through more then any one man deserved to see, and had survived through it all without so much as losing his pride. The younger respected him for everything—even the flaws they both knew had been committed.

“Dobby stay with his friends.”

The annoyance could easily be seen in the face of the older. He had done everything in his power to get here and warn the smaller elf. He would not allow his efforts to be futile, although it seemed things were not going according to plan. What could not be seen from the outside, however, was the one emotion that was held only within— worry.

“Dobby’s friends has all escaped. Dobby need to come with me.”

The younger only continued to stand there for a few moments before he took a good look around him. His mate was right; there was no one left. Everyone had abandoned him to save themselves and the friends they really cared for. The only people who had been left in the castle for the past few weeks were those who were not supposed to be there in the first place. No one had remembered young Dobby.

“I is coming.”

He took his last looks around the room and stepped into the fire. He was leaving the deserted castle. He was leaving his loyal friends. He was leaving all that way good to him. And he was leaving it with only a large puff of green smoke.

END

More Drabbleness

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 19:25:17 GMT

Wow, I've been writing a lot lately. I've written three today...O.o

A Dark Future

All around him was mist and dust. The air was musky, unclean, and foggy to look through. One could hardly tell where they were walking in such a dark area. The whole town seemed to be covered in a sheet blocking it from the outside light.

People were melancholy and sad, walking with their heads low. No one made eye contact with one another; it was only a sign of distrust. And trust didn’t exist her;, everyone had their dark side. Not one happy thought was left.

The new ways of life were to keep to yourself or live a life of lies, stay hidden or be found by the Reaper, kill or be killed. Family members were the only people you could see or talk to; friends were a distant memory.

Life was on its way down-- down to a place you could only go once. The sun no longer reached the ground; light no longer penetrated through the darkness. People no longer knew of happiness; the world was a great dark abyss. Everything was gone.

Lucius awoke lying in his soft bed. He arose to walk over to the window and stare and the world around him. Little did he know, he had not seen a bad dream-- he had seen the future.

END

What did you expect? It's another one about Lucius...

Drabbleness

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 17:43:17 GMT

So I've written a couple drabbles lately and I thought I'd put them here for safe keeping as I always do.

Battle of a Lifetime
First drabble written by me:

I had not been happy when Minerva set us down in these dark tunnels. It feels as if I have been here for years, but it has actually been only a few months. Only once did Dumbledore come down here himself to test the obstacles, but he made it through this barricade with the best of ease. Before he left I bowed to him naming him “Chest Master,” but he didn’t appear to have heard.

Earlier today as well, another person of competition entered my playing field. This one was not quite as handy with the pieces, but by blasting us away using some dark magic, he managed to win over us in the end. I had thought at that point it would take my family weeks to recover from the hit. We, however, were not given that much time.

I knew we were doomed the second those three rascals raced onto my board.

The Mistress would not be happy.

I can hear her thought process as she sends messages to the other members of our party. She is quick but precise as she makes every move. Each step is thought about ahead of time to plan for the best route to success.

All I can do is watch and stay alert when a game starts. The first move is always the same; my dear wife sends one of our offspring forward to meet their downfall. That continues for a few moves until one of our noble knights steps forward.

The other side makes the same move, but my Misses takes his life. I am used to the tragic defeat of each piece, but my opponents seem utterly frightened when one of their own men finds his end.

The game continues and I show no mercy. The face of my partner in war appears to be completely blank, but I can see the determination that lies below it. She is set on winning this battle and protecting her kin. If only we can be so lucky.

I continue to observe as more and more pieces fall. We are getting to the core of the game now and our men are running short. The thoughts of my men are going crazy as we know how close we were to losing. It is not until I see the gleam in my wife’s eye that I also see the ray of light held at a distance before us. She has a plan; three more moves and we could win.

It is then that disaster strikes. The red head had steps forward to surrender himself and my lady doesn’t see the danger this has put me in. All she can think of is the stupidity of the boy as she steps forward to bring him down.

I know now that it is all over. The second young boy takes his final move and I drop my crown to the floor. We lost our final battle. There is nothing left for us.

Second Drabble Written by HermyRox12

Three small children, about eleven years old, are coming in the room. They have taken their places on the board, and now we will begin our fight. I am the leader of the family. But, if I go out, my husband takes charge.

One girl and two boys are playing. The girl is playing as the castle, one boy is a knight, and the other is a bishop. The red headed knight is the leader. He is quite bossy.

I send a precious pawn forward two squares. The game begins. Red Knight counters all of my moves. The bishop with huge glasses moves diagonally four squares to my left. Other than the Red Knight’s shouting, the game has been silent. I never liked silent games. Even so, the battle is still beginning.

The other knight is mine. I’m dragging him off the board, facedown, so he is out of the way. The girl is walking up, and I order my bishop to leave the board. They take away my family, so I will show no mercy.

Move after move, I take away more of their pieces. By now there is a pile of black pieces. The Red Knight does most of the moving. Whenever I am about to take the other two, he protects them with an unexpected move.

Now the pile of pieces is about the same. The Red Knight has talent. He stares at me, planning his move; I give him no sign of my thoughts. My face remains blank as not to give anything away.

Red Knight does something stupid. He takes one step forward. That messes up my plans. I was sure he would move the girl four spaces to the left. Well, that leaves me to take him. I went forward, and knocked him straight on his head. He passes out as I drag him to the pile. The girl screams as I resume my place.
-
I notice my mistake when it is too late. Glasses moves three spaces to the left, which gives them the game. My spouse tosses his crown at Glasses's feet, and I order my family to bow to the winners. I mutter to them, “New masters of chess,” but like when the king said that, they didn’t hear. They leave worried about the Red Knight. Next game, I want him on my side.

END

Keeping Our Pride

My father has always been a man of his pride. Everything we do– or have ever done– is for the sake of the family name. He is one of the more proud men I have ever known, and I have known a great many.

Our family used to be known for our great wealth and power. Being the last living descendants of Slytherin did have its upsides. We lived as royalty in a large house with loving neighbors and caring friends. I was born into one of the richest families and England, yet I will die from one of the poorest.

We lost everything when my father tried to clear the name of Salthazar. According to him, the old man had done enough in his time to help the Wizarding World that one betrayal was not worth losing the recognition of the people. According to this story, it was simply the founder’s time to leave. He had fulfilled his duty.

But the Minister didn’t believe it. The name of Slytherin would forever be looked down upon for letting down his friends and turning his back on his community. My father wouldn’t stop there, however. Everything for him was about the family history. He would not live knowing he had failed.

Nevertheless, the Ministry would not accept my father’s beliefs. Because of this, my family eventually became a threat to the magical government and we were sent into exile. I was ripped from my friends, my money, and my home. What did I care of pride now—there was nothing left to be proud of.

But the men in my family were known for keeping their heads held up high. And this they did. We began relying only on the language of our forefathers and of the animal of our name. Each garden snake was treated with care in our family with the exception of the one killed to hang on the door. Ancestry would never be forgotten here.

But I am really living in a shack with my father and brother. We live off crumbs and hardly get visits from anyone. We sleep on the floor and drink dirty water from the wells. I even often say that we have nothing left to live for, but my relations disagree. They will always be content knowing that pride is being kept within us.

END

completely immature

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 15:16:10 GMT

This is going to make me sound completely immature, but I have to say it anyway.

I was just writting a drabble for the class I'm taking, and I had the page minimized while I was writing it. Well the sbject title of the thread was "The Pardoner's Assignment" except part of it was cut off so in the little box on the bottom of the page it said "The Pardoner's Ass...". For some reason that completely cracked me up so I thought I would share it.

Yeah, that's it. And I know I'm immature.

[EDIT] I decided I would make this entry interesting by including a drabble I just wrote for my Leaky Cauldrin class:

Siding with Power

A gust of wind blowing from the open window blew the black hood off the blonde haired man. His beautiful mane released itself from the material and flowed behind him like a shimmering gold sheet left out in a storm. The way he stood showed his proud manner even down to the way he held his face. His whole presence was simply mystifying yet also stern as he stood before his mistress.

The younger woman just stared at him. She had previously been sitting on their bed brushing her own mane, but now could care less about the brush lying next to her. All she had to do was look at her husband to know what had happened. He had fulfilled his goal, even at the expense of his family.

The man didn’t make eye contact with the woman. He knew he had hurt her, but it was all for the best. No one was safe in these dark times without a marking on their left arm. The only thing that could save your life now was to sell it to the devil. And this he had done.

But she knew what they were getting into. Her entire family was made up of items in the shop of the Dark Lord. She knew what would come to pass in the new life that had been chosen for her. If anyone had an idea of what living in darkness was like, she did.

But the man had made his choice. He was willing to give up his freedom to gain power for another man. He could only imagine what an empire of shadows would look like, but he was going to live to see the day. He was not about to fall below the surface of life because he had chosen the wrong side. He was with power now; there was no backing out.

END

You know, one would assume I am obsessed with Lucius by how much I write about him...

Grrr...

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 13:50:20 GMT

Crap I've been tagged! And I was just about to write my drabble for the weekly challenge...pfft.

Darn you Steph!...;)

List 6 of your favorite television shows. Then answer the questions located under the cut.

1. Gilmore Girls
2. 7th Heaven
3. So You Think You Can Dance
4. Degrassi
5. Eh, I don't watch TV much...
6. I really don't watch TV much...

1. Who is your favorite character from #2?
Martin. I used to love him until he ran off and never came back on the show.

2. Who is your least favorite character from #4?
Shoot, I can't remember her name. It begins with a ...something. But she has blonde hair and is the head cheerleader. God, I can't remember her name. I think I need to watch TV more.

3. What would a crossover between #1 and #5 include?
A Teen and her young mother not watching very much TV. (Hah!)

4. Who is your favorite ship from #6?
Me and the not-so-television.

5. If you were to set one person from #3 and one person from #6 on a blind date, who would they be?
Um...the host girl and the TV...?

6. If you could meet one person from #4 and spend the day with them, who would it be, and what would you do?
The African-American one who's in a wheelchair. I'd like to hear the 'stabbing-in-the-back story' from his point of view. (And I know that I'm no good with names)

7. If you could change one thing about #2's plotline, what would you change?
They shouldn't have all ended up with perfect marriges at the end. That's just not how things are. (And what was with the twins thing?)

8. Explain a relationship between two people (not necessarily romantic) from show #5, and why you like the relationship between them.
You know how my television and I do... ;)

9. If the lead title characters (first names in the credits) from #1 and #3 were both drowning, and you could only save one, who would it be?
Probably Lorelai because I have no idea which name comes in the credits first for So You Think You Can Dance.

10. If you could change the title characters' order in the credits for #4, what order would you choose?
Why are so many questions about number 4? I barely remember that show... And I really have no idea about the names of these kids so I'm not even going to attempt this one.

11. If you were able to add a new character, any kind of character you wanted, to the storyline for #6, what would the character be like and what would their role be?
I'd throw a computer in the triangle between my television and I. XP

12. What happened in your favorite episode of show #2?
Ooh! Ooh! I can answer this one! I'd say when Hailey Duff's character had her baby.

13. If you could kill off one of the characters of #1, who would it be and how would you do it?
Logan. I had hoped he died in the last episode but he came back to life...pfft.

14. If you got the chance to visit the set for either show #3 or show #5, which would you choose?
Three (SO you think you can dance) because I live in the set of number 5.

15. So, I saved the best for last. If you could date anyone from any of these shows, which show and which person?
Myself. Because I'm just all that... (*is kidding*). Probably Jess from GG.

16. Tag five people.
rekhyt_djinni, telpelinda, silverlil, and everyone else I can think of has already been tagged.

Wow. That was interesting.

Dear Santa...

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 19:41:14 GMT

Haha, I found this on one of Mari's friends journals and it cracked me up so I deiced to try it myself.

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Wednesday I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In May on a flight to LA, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). Last Monday I helped rekhyt_djinni hide a body (-173 points). Last Saturday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole irishphoenix711's purse (30 points). In October I stole xgreen_princess's purse (-30 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-913 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
Cruciatus_Love

I want to appologize to Jenna and Mari for stealing their purses, but the dictating over Duluth sounds fun!

Update

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 01:37:58 GMT

I haven't updated this thing in a while because I haven't written anything lately. Well, actually I have I just haven't typed it up yet.

But I thought that I would mention how much MNFF has helped me. I already passed my PI test, and I am now testing into the directory. I had about an hour of free time so I thought I would give it my first once-over. I caught 37 mistakes...

I almost feel like turning it in like this to see how well I would do if I only gave it a once-over, but I don't think I'm willing to wait three months to take it again when all had to do was read it one more time. So I'm going to go over it a few more times and turn it in later this week.

I will update with the new drabbles soon.

I dry humped a llama because I'm cool like that.

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 18:45:50 GMT

Pfft.

Because Jenna told me to and Mari did it too.

I have a bad birthday. ;)

Stupid Glitch

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 14:43:54 GMT

I wrote another drabble the other day while on the plane, but I haven't gotten around to typing it up yet, so I'll just post it later.

This entry is really about nothing but the stupid MNFF server wont let me on. I've tried typing the link directly into the Address bar, going to Mugglenet and clicking the links (but Mugglenet didn't work), going the the Leaky Cauldrin and clicking the Mugglnet links (Mugglenet is still offline), and even going to Perfect Imagination and clicking the link to Mugglenet Fan Fiction.

Nothing works.

And it isn't even like something popps up saying, "Mugglenet is having technical difficulties at the moment and cannot..." All that happens is that the page looks like it's loading forever and then eventually says "Cannot Find Server." That makes me mad.

On top of that Jenna is still on haitus, so Slytherin is in third place. All we need are those Unity Review points to be in first place by a long-shot. But no. Although it's not like I could talk to her or anyone anyway, because this computer doesn't have AIM and I still can't get onto Mugglenet.

Now I have nothing to do.

*sigh*

Drabble

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 00:38:42 GMT

I wrote this thing for the Summer School Class I'm taking (The Leaky Cauldrin). I thought I would put it here.

Life

I am alive.

After all that has happened in this past year, I am still living. So many others like me were not so fortunate. They all fell into the depths of the war and never came out. They thought they were fighting for what was right, but in fact they were only fighting for darkness. They were in denial.

Despite all the setbacks, the war is now over. Not many of us survived, but those who did are those who are worthy of living. We knew not to mess with either side. We knew to step back and let whatever was going to happen happen. We were the smart ones.

I only wish others had thought the same. Because of their loyalty to their leader, they are now lying in a whole under the ground only I am walk on. They are dead and have nothing to show for it. Because of them, I am left to rebuild our world.

The war has finally ended. Neither side survives as both lost hopelessly in the final battle. Now those of us that are left are the ones not willing to move forward. We were the ones hiding from the violence, but we are the ones suffering from the consequences.

I stayed in hiding this entire year. My mother and I hid in every place that we could and simply watched what was happening from the sidelines. We were never strong enough to interfere, and it cost us our world. Everything we knew is now gone. There are only few of us who carry on.

But we need to set the past behind us. It is or job to walk the journey through time and rebuild the nation we had before. It is our time to step out from the shadows and bring light back into the world. We need to make our way through this, or we will be joining the others. I will not let that happen. We will stay above the ground.

It’s time to start our journey forward and form new paths to walk on. It is going to be a long road getting there, but we need to be there to survive. We need to hold on to life.

But at least I am still alive.

END

It's supposed to be Draco Malfoy by the way, but I guess it could really be anyone after the war.